Guard Your Ego in Your Marriage

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3 (NIV)

The human ego can be a significant barrier to effective servant leadership. Ken Blanchard, a renowned leadership expert, highlights that ego issues manifest as either false pride (thinking you’re better than others) or self-doubt (focusing too much on your own insecurities). Both forms of ego can hinder our ability to lead with humility and serve others selflessly.

These ego issues can be particularly damaging in marriage. False pride may lead one to believe they are always right, dismissing their spouse’s opinions and needs. This “more than” attitude creates a power imbalance, fostering resentment and disconnect. On the other hand, self-doubt can cause one to constantly seek validation, burdening the relationship with insecurity and fear. This “less than” mindset prevents genuine intimacy and mutual support.

To cultivate a healthy, servant-leadership approach in marriage, we must keep our egos in check. Some practical steps include:

1. Self-Examination: Regularly reflect on your motivations. Are you seeking to serve or to be served? This question helps align your actions with the principles of servant leadership. (2 Corinthians 13:5).
2. Humility: Embrace humility by valuing your spouse’s needs and perspectives. Philippians 2:3 reminds us to consider others above ourselves, fostering a spirit of mutual respect and love.
3. Communication: Open and honest communication is vital. Share your insecurities and listen to your spouse’s concerns without judgement. This builds trust and understanding. (Ephesians 4:29).
4. Support: Encourage and support each other’s growth. Celebrate successes together and comfort each other during challenges. This strengthens the partnership and deepens your bond, especially with God. (Hebrews 13:16).

By addressing ego issues and embracing servant leadership, we can build stronger, more loving marriages that honour God and each other.

Prayer

Lord, help us to recognise and overcome our ego issues. Grant us the humility to serve our spouses selflessly and the courage to support each other through all circumstances. May our marriages reflect Your love and grace, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Read: Ephesians 5:31; James 4:6Bible Reading Guide: Psalm 31: 19-24; Mark 15:1-32; Leviticus 21; Leviticus 22